The move is becoming more and more less like a fantasy. I can feel the depression and anxiety showing it’s ugly face. I am going on vacation to Norway tomorrow and I don’t feel the normal excitement I have the past few times I’ve gone. This time feels very different. It’s a practice for moving.
This trip is also for a wedding. My own wedding was made up of sacrifices and compromises that made my wedding not really what I wanted. I didn’t have all of my family there nor the big party that I have grown accustomed to with my cousin’s weddings. Many relatives of mine even complained that I couldn’t invite them. I even settled for my wedding dress. I liked it but my first choice I was talked out of. I talked about a five year renewal of our vows where I would do everything that I wanted but that has come and gone. I will likely wait till the 10 or 15 year anniversary. I’m really angry. I’m really happy that my sister in law is not making the mistake I did and is getting what she wants. It’s like my vendetta now that my friends and family get what they want when they get married.
(Let’s make this less depressing….)
What do I want for my wedding renewal?
My dress. . . . .Japanese Lolita. I want to be as adorable as possible. I even want my hair to have a little crown and I totally want a cool scepter.
Food. . . . Italian style of course. I want Chicago style Italian Beefs, Baked Mostaccioli, Italian Subs, and Chicken Caeser Salad. A potluck is also possible, that way we can have enough food and some Norwegian food as well.
My cake. . . . Birch tree design (My favorite tree, though I am VERY allergic to it) with fresh or faux flowers set on top of a tree piece for affect.
My original wedding was a Midsummer Wedding. I want to keep that. This is why I would like my party in a giant hall with the possibility of a bonfire like they would have in Norway. I think I’d actually like it held at a place called Fisherman’s Inn- a wedding reception area that we have in the US near my parents.
I also wonder about a destination wedding instead. Picking the place is the hard part. Perhaps I could choose Spain, since I have family there as well.
That’s all for now guys. I better keep on packing up stuff. I also work today. . . .WAH!